A few weeks ago I told my husband that all I wanted to do was crawl into a cave and watch Netflix ’till it was time for the birth. In a way that’s what these past few days have been. Admittedly our accommodations are quite a bit nicer than a cave, and Netflix has instead been a strong dose of HGTV. But the sentiment is the same. We’ve hidden from the world in a reality all our own. We explored a new city, baked cookies, and I’ve been knitting up a storm. In fact there have been times when I’ve needed to remind myself why we’re here. Then I catch a glimpse of the car seat in the back of our rental car and I get a hint of jitters.
This morning I woke up and somehow overnight jitters had hatched into full out nerves and anxiety. Maybe it was prompted by recent conversations with the social workers and lawyer. Or maybe meeting M yesterday for ice cream pulled me a little closer to reality. But for whatever reason, today I’ve found it a lot harder to hide from what is about to happen.
Tomorrow’s the day. Maybe our lives are about to change forever. Or maybe our world with come crashing down. Tomorrow’s a big day. Tonight I’ll keep knitting.