You meet someone, you hit it off, you exchange contact info. One of you reaches out, you exchange phone calls and e-mails. Excitement! Will he call today? Why hasn’t he answered my last message? Very quickly excitement turns to insecurity. A response! Excitement! But now no response again. It’s been three days. When he said that one thing, what exactly did he mean? I thought he meant this, but he could have been saying that. Insecurities. The phone rings. Excitement!
We’re all too familiar with this roller coaster. Dating is exhilarating, but it’s also exhausting. And it’s packed with emotional turmoil. And it’s supposed to be in my past. Marriage has its own challenges, and is an emotional roller coaster of its own at times. But at the very least it’s supposed to mean you are done with dating. How was I to know that I would have to “date” the mother of my future child?
We’ve begun conversations with the pregnant woman who showed interest in us a few months back. She still hasn’t decided on a final plan, and we are by no means “matched” at this point. But she wanted to get to know us better, so we’ve been e-mailing, have chatted on the phone with both her and her boyfriend, and have offered to drive out and meet in person when she’s ready.
Suddenly I’m dating again. It feels exactly the same. It’s been three days, why hasn’t she responded to my e-mail? My text when unanswered, did I say something wrong? Did she find something she doesn’t like about us, has she decided we’re not the right couple for her baby? Will this work, or is it all too good to be true? I can’t know what’s going through her mind right now, and the decision she’s facing is intense and life altering to say the least. And so I patiently wait, in a pool of immense insecurities, for the phone to ring, an e-mail to arrive in my inbox, or the silence to turn into the end of this new relationship.