When you’re young you think becoming a parent will be easy. You’ll meet a partner, fall in love, get married, and decide to have kids. The birds and the bees come into play, and then you’re pregnant. And if we’ve paid attention to Hollywood we know that everyone who sees two pink lines on a pregnancy test has a baby 9 months later. So simple, so natural, every time.
When you get a little older you realize some people have a harder time, but those are other people, not you. Of course miscarriages happen, but not very often, and only to someone else. It’s not until you’re in it, ’till you’re knee-deep in tests and treatments and diagnoses, that you realize it might not be that simple.
Maybe you’ve heard of a friend of a friend who had some trouble conceiving, or you remember stories of your Great Aunt who had a miscarriage back in the day. But when you look around you it seems everyone’s just placing their order and receiving their babies. There must be something wrong with you, because this just doesn’t happen to normal people.
But it does. According to the CDC 1 in 8 couples (or 12% of married women) have trouble getting pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy. We just don’t talk about it. Infertility is one of the loneliest, most isolating roads because we feel like we walk it alone.
I was lucky to have an incredible partner on that road. It was always our problem, never just mine. And slowly, as the weeks turned to months in that long process, we started to tell our friends and family what we were going through. It was less scary, less intimidating, when you didn’t feel like you had to hide the most significant thing happening in your life.
We’ve taken a fork in the road now, shifting from infertility to adoption. We know this journey will be just as long, just as intense, and at times, just as scary. But we’ve also learned we’re not traveling alone. We’re done with the secrets, ready to embrace the next chapter out in the open. Will you join us, waiting for the stork?